Since moving to my new city I’ve geared up my commitment and time dedicated to networking and making new friends. It has been very rewarding and overwhelming at the same time. Most of my burnouts are related to work so when I noticed I’m experiencing a little burn out in my private life, it kind of caught me off guard.

I’ve enjoyed meeting new and awesome people through friends since I got here. However, I’m a naturally introverted person, so it is a little out of my comfort zone to do socializing at this level. Almost every person I know here is someone I met this year. Because I don’t want to just meet people once and have it go nowhere, I also put a lot of energy into staying in contact afterwards and making sure I’m being proactive and friendly.

The pressure I put on myself to do that can get overwhelming to say the least, so I’m making effort ahead of time to ease off before I burn out completely. I think it is crucial to find ways to re-center myself so I can be good company when I spend time with others, especially people I just met not long ago. I wouldn’t want to wait till I’m burnt out to try to fix myself or recover. This blog documents some things I’ve been doing in recent few weeks to prevent from hitting that breaking point.

Be aware of gathering and texting frequency

I’ve been stretching myself a little because I know I’m in a new environment and feel I should make new friends as much as possible, whether that’s attending gatherings or texting a lot in between. A few weeks ago, it got to a point where I felt like I shouldn’t say no to any kind of gathering. And when I actually did once because I was so exhausted that day, I caught myself feeling guilty.

I justify it with the fact that I’m starting life in a new city and therefore in a stage when that is very necessary. There is some truth to that but I try my best to keep in mind it needs to be done in a healthier and more moderate way so I don’t sacrifice the minimum recovery time I need for myself. It’s not an easy balance to strike but it all starts with being aware and adjusting little by little to find what works best for me.

Create time for things I enjoy doing alone

I have quite a bit of hobbies… It was on my resolutions for this year to continue playing golf but I haven’t gotten to play much since I moved to Tokyo, mostly because my focus and energy have been put elsewhere. Recently I started going to indoor ranges to slowly get back on it.

I also wanted to ease back into reading, so I bought a handful of light-hearted fiction books which are easier to read for me. With so much going on in daily life at the moment, it seems like what I can handle and sustain if I were to get back on my reading habit.

I’m happy to start returning to my hobbies. Despite doing that at the slow pace, I can already feel the sense of relief and balance they provide me. They help me restore my energy level to be able to handle more stress but at the same time bring a calming feeling to me. Another reason I believe this can help me is being able to get back onto my hobbies in the new environment feels like a sign I’m more settled in, which is great. The next thing I want to return to is working out regularly!!

Find something that calms me and keep it in my routine

I’m trying to build a new routine in this town. One by one I want to slowly get into a rhythm in the new neighborhood and get familiar with where everything is and how everything works. I’ve kept a coffee making routine in the morning. I would like to add other components, such as a morning or evening walk, a 20-min reading time before bed, or even just a set time I go grocery shopping. It’s time to put my life here together piece by piece.

Conclusion

It’s easy to feel intimidated or overwhelmed when moving to a new environment. I think it’s important to acknowledge these feelings when I feel them. In these situations, rather than doubting myself, I try to recognize the efforts I’m making daily to adjust and remind myself I’m building the life I want.

When I start to feel overwhelmed, I try to ease off things that are out of my comfort zone to create space for myself and time for recovery. Having been in a state of transition for a while, I’ve become more in tune with my own stress and boundaries, which I think has helped me in times when I need to balance between making progress and getting rest. Small progress is still progress, and good things take time.

Last week I picked out pillows to complete my sofa area and bought containers to organize my belongings. These might sound like tiny accomplishments but I know the thought and time put behind these purchases were not tiny. My place is much smaller now so it takes me more time to decide on the right items to fill it with. Everything is made of building blocks that are smaller in size, and every purchase I make carefully for the apartment is an important one to slowly turn it into a home for myself.