How I found pieces of myself through my hobbies

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Growing up, I was taught to find something I like and pursue a career in it. The emphasis on finding this one thing I’ll need to commit to led to the misperception that choosing something has to mean saying no to everything else, and the pressure often paralyzed me when making decisions.

Whatever I did, I was not able to feel confident about my decisions unless I was 100% sure, which was almost never. Thankfully, I am slowly moving away from that way of thinking. It is through exploring new things and finding new hobbies that I’m now able to go through life with more confidence and courage. This blog aims to document the overall journey I’ve taken, and one I’m still on, to get to my current state.

After university, I started working full time, and my job became a very big part of my life. I had a one-hour commute each way, and by the time I got home after work, I had to make dinner, do chores, (maybe) sneak in some time to watch tv, wash up, and get ready for bed. I was either working, on my way to work, or eating and sleeping just to wake up and do the same thing again the next day. On the outside, it might seem like I’ve succeeded at doing what I’ve been taught to do, but somehow I couldn’t find meaning in the life that I was leading.

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At some point, I realized that I didn’t know who I was outside of work. What do I like to do for fun? If I were given weeks of time off and got to spend it however I would like, what would I choose first? I had no answer. If somebody were to remove work out of my life, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. It was scary realizing that, but I’m glad I did. It’s nice to have a job that I like, but I didn’t want it to be everything.

After that, I started looking for things that make me happy outside of work. Then the pandemic hit, giving me instantly 2 more hours every day. I’ve dabbled in a few things so far. Some examples are baking, reading, writing, and golfing. Almost all of them I’m still doing to this day. As I experienced the excitement of trying new things and then slowly seeing which ones I lean towards over time, I also got to know myself more. Each one I try teaches me something new, as I continue on this journey.

Baking

Baking didn’t stick very long, but it was so much fun. I would bake something and if it’s somewhat successful I would go around dropping them off at my friends’ apartments and houses. It was the perfect activity during the pandemic because it can be done at home and I could share what I made with people, a nice touch of human interaction many of us missed during the pandemic. It didn’t last long because of a very simple reason….calories. I’m pretty sure I was gaining weight from all the food and likely making people around me fat too (lol).

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With that said, baking is still a ton of fun for me, and I’d do it every once in a while. This was a surprising find because I’m kind of stupid in the kitchen. Cooking was and still remains a stressful activity for me. I think a big reason I like baking is because of the detailed step-by-step instructions where ingredients are prepared in specific amounts and each process takes a specific amount of time. Knowing exactly what to do removed a lot of stress and made it enjoyable for me. If everything was followed to the tee, the baked goods would most likely come out alright.

The straightforwardness of baking is a great fit to my personality—perfectionist, ridiculously detail-oriented and stubbornly logical. Some people say cooking is straightforward to them, but that was unfortunately not my experience with it. But who knows, maybe one day. My mind is opened.

Reading and Writing

Reading and writing were natural hobbies I picked up during the pandemic, because I had wanted to do them more but couldn’t find the time before. I had a long TBR list that was rarely more than 50% read. My writing habit was almost non-existent, and when it existed, sporadic. I finally made time to do them more and am still doing them regularly now. For me, reading can take on many roles. It can educate me, it can heal me a bit, and it can also stimulate some creativity out of me.

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Writing, on the other hand, provides a channel for me to output thoughts, reflection, and ideas. I have experiences that I wish I could remember more clearly of. Nowadays, I try to document as much as I can through my writing. It helps me paint a clearer picture when I go down the memory lane. It also helps organize my thoughts and connect dots when I reflect.

When I write about something, I usually extract more from it compared to if I were to just think through it in my head, whether it be lessons, realization, or self-discovery. After I write, I often walk away feeling amazed and refreshed.

Golf

Golf was something I never thought I would do. But for some reason my friends and family started talking about it and suggesting it around the same time. I was looking for new hobbies I could do outside of work, so I thought….why not? What harm can one lesson do? But I got hooked. I took one lesson from an instructor at the local driving range, and I never looked back.

I’ve always loved playing sports, but I especially love that golf is something I can practice on my own, and that it can feel like a little getaway on the golf courses which often come with amazing views. What I also learned quickly is that golf is a mental game. Of course, the swing form is important, but mental strength can play a huge role in performance.

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I love and hate this aspect of it, because I can see my stress level reflected in my golf game, but I also think it’s a great training for the mind. Through golf, I can learn how to stay patient, focused, consistent, and positive—all traits I can improve on. I hope to be a great golfer and a stronger person one day.

Conclusion

As I go through various life experiences, I have become braver in making changes to my life and more open minded in considering what’s possible in life. I used to think having too many interests and hobbies is bad, but now I’ve learned the importance of following my sense of curiosity. Some interests might stick, and some might not. Through the process, I get to discover bits and pieces of myself in the portfolio of hobbies I build, and that has been so liberating.

In the past, I made work my life, and I didn’t know who I was outside of work. Today, while still important, work is no longer everything, and that’s totally fine. I feel happy about having many hobbies and wanting to maybe even make a career out of a few of them. More importantly, I am excited that through the search of what I like to do, I find out more about who I am.